We do not experience the world exactly as it is; our experience is through our thoughts. Most of the time, that helps us make quick sense of what is occurring. However, when we are stressed, anxious, or feeling low, our thinking can start to be distorted.
These patterns are called cognitive distortions,ways of thinking can make situations feel heavier or more difficult than reality. This can influence how we feel and respond.
Once you recognise a distortion, you can begin to question it and respond to it differently.
What Are Cognitive Distortions?
Cognitive distortions are automatic patterns of thinking that can be inaccurate or exaggerated. They happen quickly and outside our awareness, especially when we are stressed or emotionally overwhelmed.
They are the brain’s attempt to protect you, but it can overreact.
All-or-Nothing Thinking
This is seeing things in extremes: success or failure, good or bad, perfect or useless.
Example: “If I didn’t do perfectly in that task, I’ve failed completely.”
Why it is unhelpful: It removes all nuance and ignores progress or partial success.
A more balanced thought: “That didn’t go perfectly, but I still made progress and learned something.”
Catastrophising
This involves expecting the worst-case scenario, even when it is unlikely.
Example: “If I make a mistake in this presentation, everyone will think I’m incompetent.”
Why it is unhelpful: It magnifies risk and creates unnecessary anxiety.
A more balanced thought: “Even if something goes wrong, it’s unlikely to be as bad as I imagine, and I can handle it.”
Mind Reading
This is the habit of assuming you know what others are thinking, usually something negative.
Example: “They didn’t reply quickly, so they must be annoyed with me.”
Why it is unhelpful: It replaces facts with assumptions.
A more balanced thought: “I don’t actually know why they haven’t replied yet.”
Overgeneralisation
This means taking one event and applying it broadly to everything else.
Example: “I messed up this task, so I always mess everything up.”
Why it is unhelpful: It ignores context and exceptions.
A more balanced thought: “This was one situation. It doesn’t define all my abilities.”
Mental Filtering
This is when you focus only on the negative parts of a situation while filtering out anything positive.
Example: “I got one piece of criticism, so the whole thing was bad.”
Why it is unhelpful: It creates a distorted, overly negative view of reality.
A more balanced thought: “There was feedback, but there were also things I did well.”
Personalisation
This involves blaming yourself for things that are outside your control.
Example: “My friend seems upset, it must be because of something I did.”
Why it is unhelpful: It takes responsibility for things that may have nothing to do with you.
A more balanced thought: “There could be many reasons they feel that way that aren’t about me.”
“Should” Statements
This involves using rigid rules about how you or other people “should” behave.
Example: “I should always be productive.”
Why it is unhelpful: It creates pressure, guilt, and unrealistic expectations.
A more balanced thought: “It’s okay to rest. Productivity doesn’t define my worth.”
Why These Patterns Matter
Cognitive distortions are common. The difficulty is not having the thoughts; it is treating them as facts without objectively appraising them.
Over time, these patterns can contribute to:
- Anxiety
- Low mood
- Stress and burnout
- Low self-esteem
How to Challenge Cognitive Distortions
You do not need to force yourself to “think positively.” It can help to try:
- Noticing the thought: “What am I telling myself right now?”
- Naming the distortion: “Is this catastrophising or mind reading?”
- Checking the evidence: “What facts do I actually have?”
- Reframing gently: “Is there a more balanced way to see this?”
Your thoughts are not always facts, and you do not have to believe every thought that passes through your mind.
Learning to recognise cognitive distortions does not mean that you will never have negative thoughts. It simply means you can start to notice them with more awareness and respond with more balance.
That small shift can make a meaningful difference in how you move through stress, anxiety, and everyday challenges.